World Cup merchandise for the oddball fan
Every four years, the football World Cup arrives. Which means some great and not-so-great World Cup merchandise on offer. Here’s some of the iffiest gifts you could snap up.
Replica World Cup trophy keyring
Ever wanted to lift the Jules Rimet trophy while simultaneously unlocking the car? Well, now you can! The kind of gift that’ll rattle around while driving and annoy you.
I’ve never ‘got’ it with souvenir lanyards. In my experience they’re only worn to hold ID at work. This lanyard is Russian red and will probably be met by friends questioning: Why? The sort of World Cup merchandise you’ll hang on the wall and reminisce of the time you wasted 7 euros.
Figurine of man who looks nothing like Oxlade-Chamberlain
Here’s an image of Liverpool and England’s Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. And here’s the figurine. Enough said. This looks like a guy I used to work with. Maybe just line him up on the mantelpiece and listen to the laughs roll in. Price reduced by a quid, presumably after the midfielder’s injury ruled him out the World Cup.
Chris Smalling boot
Smalling fell foul of England manager Gareth Southgate’s desire for comfortable ball-playing centre-backs. The Manchester United defender failed to make the finals squad. But you mere mortals can still buy his boots for £250! Well, one boot in a nice, see-through case that is. As an uncultured type, Smalling’s right boot was presumably used purely to launch the ball into the air, or offload to better players.
Hat shaped like official World Cup mascot
This reminds me of those trapper hats. But with blue eyes, massive snout and a visor. The mascot for Russia 2018 is called Zabivaka, who is an anthropomorphic wolf. The hat looks warm so will work for a trip to Russia. It’s perhaps just a one-time wear, soon to be hidden away at the back of a wardrobe. Until the next ‘Weird World Cup’ themed party you throw.
3D Ross Barkley
Coming in three different sizes, Barkley has hardly been seen on the football pitch this season. So if you’ve missed him, why not get a 3D printed version made of full colour sandstone? The Chelsea benchwarmer won’t be in Russia. But he could be pride of place in any World Cup-watcher’s pad this summer.